how does x feel about y?

Ok - kind of an exercise but I drew this card for some people in particular. I drew 'past lives' for how does x feel about y. In the osho zen deck this card is about being open to any clear messages you can get at this stage because everything is a little hazy.

The description says " The real point is to see and understand the karmic patterns of our lives, and their roots in an endless repetitive cycle that traps us in unconscious behavior.

A glimpse into the eternity of our existence is a gift, and understanding the function of karma in our lives is not something that can be grasped at will. This is a wake-up call; the events in your life are trying to show you a pattern as ancient as the journey of your own soul.

I suggest that perhaps he still feels confused about issues that he can't articulate. Perhaps issues that he isn't even aware that he is experiencing. He hasn't decided how to proceed with these feelins yet. He can feel the confusion but he can't see past it. There could be a tendency to try to distract the mind and avoid thinking about the situation altogether. He can't avoid it though and it will still come back in order to be resolved at some further point in time.

coupon chief and amazon

Coupon chief is a site that has free coupon codes, online coupons and lots of deals. They are a money saving site.

There are some CouponChief deals that are applicable from even the UK. There's a whole heap of shops that list on there and one of them is Amazon.com which obviously delivers all the way across the pond. Amazon Coupon Codes such as these, for example.

You can get $25 off $125 products from kitchen and homewears and bathroom stuff too. Not that I'm suggesting buying a bed but there are sheets and duvets and pillows - and best of all - the US dollar was at 1.99 today - so 2 dollars to a pound. Everything is practically half price.

I'm quite looking forward to getting some dvds from there - boxsets perhaps. I'll just take a look at CouponChief and see what else is available.

The world

There's a friend of a friend who recently started seeing someone and I keep drawing 'the world' for him. A few weeks (maybe 3) after he broke up with his girlfriend I drew the 2 of cups - 9 of cups and the world for him. Later info suggested that this was a one night stand - or just some one night romance. Nothing too serious. But now he's dating someone - for about 3 months now and I keep getting the world.

I have always seen this card as an ending but maybe it's also a sign of union? perhaps this is a strong relationship that combines the two of them into a whole new creation? maybe?

Maybe she is the world to him - could be the one he will marry and she might have been the romance right near the start.

Gonna have to see in the future I guess.

money money money

There was (and probably still is) an advance money place in colchester just outside the bus station. Though they'll be moving the bus station soon I think. Anyway, right next to a kebab pizza place there 's a big yellow sign which offers to cash your payday cheques before the day etc. Nice easy way to get money to pay for your take away which you get from next door I presume.

Same as the following: except that it's anOnline Cash Advance ! Now that's technological progress. I guess this one can pay for the dominos online delivery instead. I do wish dominos would start accepting paypal because our current address doesn't show up on their system so we have to find random cash lying around (As if there ever is any) in order to pay.

4 combined

views of others - 6 of cups

ruminating about how great things were - passive - alone - nostalgic. Not getting things done. Thinking and pondering.

hopes and fears - devil

being trapped and bound by the rules. Restricted and being made to feel a victim.

Final outcome - my fears may not be assuaged but there's lots of hope for a clear and rational approach.

tower - wheel of fortune - 9 of pentacles

huge changes and someone may even move out - i get left independent and perhaps with some unexpected money that gives me the freedom to work without interruptions. This being single and living alone could be one of the most helpful parts of it all.

knight of swords (strength)

i'm trying to do everything but i'm so unfocused that nothing gets done. I need a plan of action. I have the strength and determination , now if someone would just show me an accent and tell me where to point it i could really get things moving. Very successfully too.

9 of wands - queen of wands (5 of swords) - page of cups (3 of pentacles)

i'm exhausted at having to be social which is kind of made up for by the fact that i like the people that i work with - but still . i love being alone and nothing will really change that.

Immediate Future - Empress

My ability to take time out and enjoy myself will be boosted by other's perception of me but it will be limited by the knowledge that the less I do soon the worse the situation will get from me.

Future laziness will really hinder me later on.

3 of cups - sun - 7 of pentacles

For now I take time away from friends but instead of doing something with it , I tend to procrastinate and think of ways that I would do things if I did choose to do them. There's definitely a need for me to do something rather than just deny myself fun.

Future Influences - 8 of swords

The ability to understand that any future actions are up to me to regulate are boosted by the attraction and motivation of the past. The laziness and contentedness of the near future however will make me feel like I really can't do anything. Feeling powerless and helpless.

High priestess - 7 of swords - king of cups (chariot)

I will spend a lot of time alone trying to get things done with the feeling that only through being in control of my emotions will I be in charge of the situation. Or otherwise it could be direction from the boss (supervisor) that has me locking myself away to work all night. His direction will seem like i have all the time in the world and I will be tempted to escape into my own counsel and ultimately i will be benefitting myself. Keeping away from everyone.

Past influences - ace of wands

Just recently you were so excited and motivated that now you are finding it hard to let go. There seemed to be an attraction there. You could have sworn that there was something. You were excited about the work. Excited about the prospect of future romance and now there's this pit of never ending drudgery that is never complete. You have a complete lack of focus, motivation and incentives. You're starting to hate travelling and doing anything. You don't want to talk to anyone or do any work. You feel betrayed and hurt and can only keep doing what you've been doing but you know that your method has not produced any success yet so why should it do so now?

Osho zen card for me

Breakthrough

All of us occasionally reach a point when "enough is enough." At such times it seems we must do something, anything, even if it later turns out to be a mistake, to throw off the burdens and restrictions that are limiting us. If we don't, they threaten to suffocate and cripple our very life energy itself.

If you are now feeling that "enough is enough," allow yourself to take the risk of shattering the old patterns and limitations that have kept your energy from flowing. In doing so you will be amazed at the vitality and empowerment this Breakthrough can bring to your life.

Base of the Matter - 3 of swords

What's really going on : you're heartbroken - it hurts to be in this situation with no prospect of romance, no togetherness to look forward to. The whole thing about focusing on just work sounds like a not very pleasant experience.

8 of pentacles - 9 of cups - 7 of cups

you put all your efforts into working to get what you want because you have all these aspirations of what you want to be. There's nothing you want more and it feels like it's going to take along time to achieve them. So the success will take ages to come through while right now you are feeling miserable and unhappy. You may be willing to put up with that now but you find yourself asking whether you really are. This kind of delayed gratification with a hell of a lot of delusional hope perhaps seems a lot.

Crowning Card - 2 of cups (id)

Love undone - lack of togetherness - more time spent alone. The dream of a relationship being let go of just for now. No prospect of romance at this time so moving painfully on?

Crossing Card -

King of wands (6 of pentacles)

I feel patronized by the boss - all her idiotic ideas about my presentation meant that the session was one of the most humiliating I have ever experienced. Her ideas were wrong - her criticisms harsh (but accurate) and yet i only screwed up (i think) because i was trying to do what she suggested. Of course she is a lot like my mother so there's never anything she can do that's wrong. Actually it's like having my mother and my sister combined but in a patronizing role since she is in charge. I'm really really hating it. And doing terribly at keeping up any kind of equilibrium.

Justice - queen of cups (4 of pentacles~) - death

deciding that emotionally i'm going to move on but i'm not letting go of what's in my heart. I do and I don't - I will but I won't situation.

What I need to Know - Significator

Significator
8 of cups (id)

not quite letting go? not moving on - just stopping the whole search for romance? I'm not sure how that fits in. I think that I'm trying to move on and focus only on my studies but aparently something is crossing me. I'm trying to keep hold of my aloneness in some misguided way of staying happy i think. I am fighting the process of moving on instead of just letting it flow.

fool - 4 of cups - ace of cups

A new beginning relationship wise perhaps. Or a dissatisfaction with the process of everything. This could be uni - I'm starting a new leaf but the idea that i have to give up my personal time and emotional comfort zone leaves me very dissatisfied.

Horoscope Spread 2007 - House 3

Card 3 - Third House: Siblings, neighbors, close kin, local travel, short trips, conscious mind, writing, early education, communications, letters, phone calls, examinations, local environments

star - 5 of wands

Could be my sister. She has lots of hope for a bright new future but it will take a lot of work. The cards look positive.

There's also some positive outlook for my own writing I guess. I do want to use this year to do some kind of putting words to paper with some serious thought behind them rather than just letting the fingers move around on the keyboard.

The hard work of the 5 of wands - or it could be focus and physical exertion - makes the hope of the star even brighter which then increases the energy put into the hard work.

Horoscope Spread 2007 - House 2

House 2 - corresponds to Taurus - belongings, what I value, what I have, possessions

Hierophant - 6 of swords

The established order is slowly changing. I value structure and higher education but also the ability to be detached from it. 6 of swords can also stand for science.

Could also have to do with my supervisor?

From Aeclectic tarot:
Having created a solid foundation on which to build his future, the Fool is struck with a sudden fear. What if everything he's worked for is taken away? Is stolen, or lost, or destroyed or vanishes? Or what if it is just not good enough? In a panic, he heads into a holy place where he finds the Hierophant, a wise teacher and holy man. Acolytes kneel before the man, ready to hear and pass on his teachings. The Fool tells the Hierophant his fears, and asks how he can be free of them.

"There are only two ways," says the Hierophant sagely, "Either give up that which you fear to lose so it no longer holds any power over you, or consider what you will still have if your fear comes to pass. After all," the Hierophant continues, "if you did lose all you'd built, you would still keep the experience and knowledge that you've gained up to this point, wouldn't you?"

Horoscope Spread - House 1 - All beginnings

House 1: All beginnings, Appearance, Potential

Sun - Ace of cups

You have the result you wanted - you are free to spend as much time on your own as you would like. Why doesn't this make you happy?

The truth is that you are limiting yourself by taking so much time to be on your own that you are not benefitting from your single lifestyle. This isn't the path you had chosen. You didn't achieve the new love that you had hoped for and now it feels like there will be no new emotional love at all.

Perhaps you did choose the wrong path after all. You can now take the time to decide what would be the right choice for you. Let go of the old directions you had given yourself and start afresh. The future is so bright and happy that you can do anything with it as soon as you let go of the past directions you had given yourself as regards to your love life. You did the right thing by letting go.

I'm breaking promises, she's breaking every law

Self-help party time at the moment - what with it being the new year and all I felt that it was the right time to change some things. Let go of bad habits and start working on focus and work and better research.

Yesterday I bought Simply Irresistible: The Psychology of Seduction - How to Catch and Keep Your Perfect Partner, Reiki for Dummies and Hypnotherapy for Dummies. The hypnotherapy book was more of a guide to all the different things that were available rather than a DIY guide so I returned it today and bought 'Self-Hypnosis: The Complete Guide to Better Health and Self-change'.

So far it's all looking positive.

Issues

B.'s parents' divorce - best course of action : I drew the 5 of swords - comparison in the osho deck.

Let's face it, there is always going to be somebody who is more beautiful, more talented, stronger, more intelligent or apparently happier than you are. An conversely there will always be those who are less than you in all those ways. The way to find out who you are is not by comparing yourself with others, but by looking to see whether you are fulfilling your own potential in the best way you know how.

Comparison brings inferiority, superiority. When you don't compare, all inferiority, all superiority, disappear. Then you are, you are simply there.

Just look around. All is needed, and everything fits together. It is an organic unity: nobody is higher and nobody is lower, nobody superior, nobody inferior. Everybody is incomparably unique.

Best course of action about her career: 7 of swords - politics

All but the most innocent and sincere of us have a politician lurking somewhere in our minds. In fact the mind is political. Its very nature is to plan and scheme and try to manipulate situations and people so that it can get what it wants. Here the mind is represented by the snake, covered with clouds and 'speaking with a forked tongue'. But the important thing is to realise about this card is that both faces are false. The sweet, innocent, 'trust me' face is a mask, and the evil, toxic, 'I'll have my way with you' face is a mask, too. Politicians don't have real faces. The whole game is a lie.

Take a good look at yourself to see if you have been playing this game. What you see might be painful, but not as painful as continuing to play.